


No Scars to Your Beautiful

by MsDizzyDahlia



Series: Fem!Sides Super AU [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fem!Sides, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, Multi, Scars, The next one will be fluffy I promise, Virgo is technically shirtless, but she is wearing a sports bra, mentions of injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsDizzyDahlia/pseuds/MsDizzyDahlia
Summary: Virgo wasn't always the hero of her own story.Her body reflects that.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Fem!Sides Super AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907026
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	No Scars to Your Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara
> 
> Someone order some moxieceit hurt-comfort? No? Well TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU’RE GETTING IT ANYWAY
> 
> We aren’t quite getting into V’s origin, but we’re getting there
> 
> Warnings: Scars, mentions of injury, crying into shoulder, Virgo is technically shirtless for some of it but I mean she is wearing a sports bra and that pretty much covers everything but just a heads up.

Pamela was worried for her girlfriend. She had been acting… odd. It wasn’t anything in particular that had Pamela worried. If you looked at the way she interacted with everyone else, she would seem perfectly normal. It wasn’t necessarily something that could be pinned down, it was just… the way she reacted to seeing their scars. They all had them. Even Rema, though hers were all from her childhood before her indestructibility kicked in. Most of them were pretty small, and barely noticeable. Pamela knew that Virgo had a few on her arms, and maybe more, but her girlfriend was always very cautious, so maybe not. But whenever Virgo saw one of theirs, she would react poorly.

It was almost imperceptible, sometimes just a small flinch, becoming more tense by a fraction, or something like that, but Pamela knew her girlfriend, and it was most definitely there. She hadn’t wanted to ignore it for so long, but the fact was that her reactions were always very small, and she was almost always able to bury it within seconds, so Pamela couldn’t have really had a basis to go on. For all she knew, she was just imagining things.

That is until the incident. Ramona had gotten a new shirt, a white crop top with a wide neckline that hung off of one of her shoulders, exposing the red spaghetti strap tank top she had on underneath. It also exposed the bullet scar on her left shoulder. 

Now considering the history of the scar, one could reasonably pin Virgo’s rather extreme reaction on guilt or PTSD. But with how she reacted to everyone else’s scars and considering her history… Pamela was definitely wondering if there was something more going on.

So currently, she was outside her girlfriend’s bedroom, trying to work up the courage to go inside. She wasn’t sure why she was hesitating, maybe it was because she felt like she was invading her space? It wasn’t as if this would be the first time she had gone into Virgo’s room when she wasn’t there. But this time she was going there to look around, to purposefully go through her girlfriend’s stuff, to see if there were any clues that would lend themselves to an explanation for Virgo’s aversion of scars. She was really worried though, and she knew that it might help her.

She slowly placed her hand on the handle and took a deep breath, telling herself to just do it, before slowly twisting the knob and pushing the door open.

Almost immediately, she had to resist the urge to slam the door shut again. It was clear that Virgo was indeed in her room, contrary to what Pamela had believed, and more than that, she was in nothing but sweatpants and a sports bra. Well. This was embarrassing. In the year and a half that Virgo had been with them, Pamela had not once seen Virgo without a shirt. Sometimes Pamela wondered if she did that on purpose, but she had always respected her girlfriend’s privacy. Up until today, it seemed.

Virgo’s stomach and lower back were now exposed, and as Pamela looked her over, she had to resist the urge to gasp out loud. Her skin was practically covered in  _ scars.  _ Mottled skin, what looked like untreated burns, a particular one that looked like jagged lightning starting between her shoulder blades and going all the way down her spine.

They were all over her arms too. There were way more of them than Pamela would have ever expected. There was one going across her left shoulder blade and about halfway down her forearm. Pamela had seen glimpses of that one before, and unlike the others she actually knew the story behind that one, but she had no idea it was so…  _ big. _

Virgo’s hair was tied up in a bun, allowing Pamela to see yet another scar on the back of her neck that would have been hidden by the jacket she wore everywhere. Pamela’s vision started blurring with tears. She knew why her girlfriend was so sensitive to scars now. She was stupid for not seeing it before. Of course Virgo would have a collection of scars of her own from her previous life, but… wow there were a lot of them.

Virgo turned around, seeming to realize that her door had been opened. She gasped when she saw Pamela peeking in, her eyes widening and filling with fear. She quickly grabbed her jacket off of her bed and shrugged it back on, but they both knew that Pamela had already seen them. …Wow.

“H-hey Pam.” Virgo said, her voice weak. She sounded afraid. Why was she afraid? Was she worried Pamela wouldn’t love her anymore? Knowing Virgo, it was definitely a possibility. Her girlfriend was terrified of the concept of losing Pamela and Janice. Of them either dying in a fight or them deciding to leave her for whatever reason. Was that why she hid the scars?

“V…” Pamela’s voice was breathy. Really, what was she supposed to say in this situation? Part of her felt hurt that Virgo hadn’t trusted her enough to show her the scars, but she knew that with her girlfriend’s history, her scars probably weren’t something she wanted to show off. “V, why didn’t you tell me?” Virgo’s face crumpled immediately. “Oh! Oh goodness no, don’t cry! It’s okay!” She rushed over to her girlfriend and put her hands on her shoulders. It was no easy feat, seeing as Pamela was only 5’2 and her girlfriend stood all the way at 6’3. But she still did it, because her girlfriend was crying, and she needed comfort.

Pamela led Virgo over to the bed and helped her sit down, allowing her to lean forward and cry into her shoulder. Pamela rubbed circles into her love’s back, whispering quiet assurances into her ear and trying to process everything that was happening.

“Virgo, why didn’t you tell me about your scars?” Was it something she did? Did Emily even know? Emily acted as a therapist for Virgo, but if she had been hiding her scars from even her… then they might not have covered everything. Virgo could still have untouched trauma buried somewhere. The thought made Pamela ache. How long had Virgo felt like she had to hide these scars from everyone?

“I’m sorry.” Virgo mumbled. Her voice was wet. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I-I don’t know why, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I-i was just afraid that-” she sucked in a breath and hiccuped. “I was afraid you might think they were ugly. Or that they would remind you of who… who I used to be.” Pamela knew that with Virgo’s fear of emotional intimacy, this must not be easy for her. But she was probably tired of hiding it, and Pamela wasn’t going to stop her.

“Oh V…” Pamela was close to crying herself. “V I would never think that. You’re different now, everyone knows that. I would never turn on you for something as stupid as that. Your scars aren’t ugly. They’re a part of you, and no part of you could ever be ugly. It’s not your fault you have scars. It’s  _ their  _ fault for sending you on those missions in the first place.” 

Virgo shook her head, still not looking up. “The scars aren’t from the missions. I-I’ve never gotten a scar on a mission except for… except for the one Rema gave me.” Pamela frowned and thought about the scar on her shoulder. Yeah, that had been one brutal fight. 

“They’re from… from training.” Virgo continued. “And from… punishments. Consequences of failures. But they didn’t like it when I exposed my scars. It was proof that I was not being treated as well as they wanted the public to believe. They also told me that they… they were ugly, and that it would be better if I never showed them to anyone. Not even my… coworkers…” Red hot anger started boiling inside of Pamela. How dare they? How could anyone be so evil that they’d give someone scars, and then have the audacity to tell them that they are ugly and that they should hide it? Each time Virgo talked about the people in her old life, Pamela grew to hate them more. They didn’t deserve someone as wonderful as her.

After a few moments of silence, Janice passed by the door, and stopped, backtracking and taking in the sight of her two girlfriends. “Is… something wrong with you two?” She asked, unsure of what to do. They always made fun of Lola for not knowing how to respond to emotions but uh… Janice really wasn’t much better.

Pamela looked up and motioned for Janice to come in. She did as she was told, and her girlfriend tilted her head towards the spot on the bed next to Virgo. Oh, okay. Janice sat down and placed a hand on Virgo’s back. 

She flinched, and Janice removed the hand, feeling even more awkward than before. “Virgo, what happened?” Virgo looked up finally, her makeup still looking flawless (of course she would use waterproof makeup), and looked over to Janice. She bit her lower lip, and stood up, turning around so she was facing away from her two girlfriends. She hesitated, wondering if she should really show her these, before reminding herself that Janice was her girlfriend and she deserved to know the truth. Slowly, she removed her jacket. There was a sharp inhale, probably from Janice, and Pamela made a concerned noise.

Virgo turned back around to face the two of them once more, and Pamela, seeing the question on Janice’s face, mouthed “later” to her. Virgo was still wringing her hands, her face rather red. She was still embarrassed by them, Pamela realized. Jesus this girl needed more hugs.

“You… you guys won’t tell the others about this, right? I… I don’t want them to feel guilty about it.”

Pamela frowned, furrowing her brow, but didn’t protest. Janice on the other hand, sighed. “I won’t say a word. On one condition.” Virgo tensed, and Pamela’s heart jerked around in her chest. Her upbringing had probably taught her to hate those words. “You have to tell them yourself, when you feel comfortable. You are talking to someone about this. It doesn’t have to be us, but you do need to talk to someone.”

Virgo nodded, and her girlfriends opened their arms, allowing Virgo to crash back into them. They stayed like that for who knows how long, and eventually, they laid back on the bed, and stayed in that position until they fell asleep, all in a giant cuddle pile.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re wondering how Virgo managed to hide her scars for this long… *shrugs* I got nothing. V’s always been good at keeping secrets
> 
> Also sorry about this, I promise next time I’ll give you guys some more fluff :)


End file.
